forgive me.

We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain.
But what's so normal in the evening, by the morning seems insane.

Now, I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this....
The reasons have all run away, but the feelings never did.
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live.
Because what's so simple in the moonlight by the morning never is.

"So, let's take the glamour out of depression because the pill bottles... while your heart is getting harder to lift and you can't stay sad all the time!!
Can you?
Can you?!!"








<sub>please don't do it Abby. i know, i KNOW your heart is shattered. i sat with you all night long while we sobbed together. it's not fair, i know. i hurt with you...together. i promise you this will get better; and i will be there. always.


also: as it's approaching and tearing me up already
rest peacefully Earl Sowers 11/21/03 and Big Jules 11/22/05. Never forgotten -- always loved.




**try not to read too much into this if you can. this is a deviation that speaks to three separate issues. all actually very traumatic to me. it's november. pills are death. they steal lives. young lives. and, yet i push the pill bottle every night to the brink and slam it shut just as fast. this is a very very personal piece. almost as hard as my last deviation. i wanted to put it under mature content, but there are some of my younger viewers who would like to see this and there's nothing graphic; just challenging. and to think, most who struggle with urges like these, abuse these or have died from these are under 18. they need to see this. and i needed to speak this from my core. it's eating me inside out. and i don't want it to swallow me whole and make the same mistakes many before me have. i don't want anyone to make this mistake. or even attempt it, think it, tamper or experiment with anything similar. and i certainly pray and wish no one ever goes for it intentionally. that's why the cause To Write Love on Her Arms is so important to me. thank you for your support and understanding. these deviations have been so difficult to post; but art is my outlet. it's my safety when i have nowhere or no one else to turn to. welcome inside my chest, my head. please be gentle with commentary.</sub>