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.. a sadness, a goodbye ..
it's not like you didn't all see this coming.
i don't upload art.
i don't return comments often.
i haven't been thanking anyone for faves.
i don't log onto my groups i should be managing.
i don't update my journal because of fear.
i don't make polls anymore really.
i don't do features and news articles or contests.
i'm barely online at all on dA.
i've seen this happen so many times to artists i love and i hate that i'm becoming one of them.
but, now you have it:
my official dA resignation/hiatus.
i'll still be viewing art (commenting and faving; just not as frequently.)
i may upload a picture or writing when it comes to me.
and
my wish for you + 60day chip photos.
if you were unfortunate enough for me to have your phone number, you received a text message with the following sentiment. but, there are, of course, many, many other people i'd like to extend the same wishes to and spread my words of gratitude on toward. so, i've decided to comprise a note here and share with those i wasn't able to earlier.
[*cough* this also means if you'd like to give me your number, i'd be much obliged.]
so, at an ungodly hour of the morning, a text with a photo of a girl holding a dear friend, with their backs to the camera as they overlook an incredible mountainside - along with a radiant, infectious song promising
.. dear earl ..
Dear Earl,
Last night, when it hit midnight and the date on my phone changed - those numbers staring back at me - my heart sunk.
I made it through June's losses.
....but it's today.
There's something about today that is making me so sick to my stomach.
Maybe it's that it's more real to me here.
Last year I was 600+ miles away and hating the distance.
Now, I'm right here, in my home. So close to you.
......and I can't take it.
Maybe it's that I spent the whole past year destroying myself in an actual attempt to keep myself alive because I no longer wanted to live.
.......i've been fighting the desire to live or not to for nearly a fu
.. day 60 ..
was yesterday!
i won't get my chip for a little while because i like getting them at a different one-a-month meeting where my dad attended rehab.
when that happens, i'll post pictures
sorry i'm not very active,
i've been doing soooo much stuff outside,
living at barnes and noble,
doing art,
therapy work...
LISTENING TO LOTSSS OF MUSIC
[exhausted]
it's also been a month filled with ER visits,
stitches,
a local shooting,
unusual family activity,
brutal arguments with my dad,
police,
and all sorts of hullaballoo.
so i'm a bit maxed.
but!
i'm new to last.fm
and don't know much about it.
but my account's http://www.last.fm/us
© 2010 - 2024 carvingbackbone
Comments17
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Sweetie...you may have fallen but I know you'll pull yourself up and win this.
28 days. Wow. Well now, it's what? 30? I'm so proud of you. That is just so wonderful, we're all so proud of you. This song, yours and her words hole much more meaning than I was expecting. Oh Kristie, I don't know about all the hardships you've gone through, all your memories that haunt you, or your emotions that live inside your head and play with your heart.....I'm so sorry that you've had to experience any heartbreak or sadness. You're such a kind heart that it is so intensely unfair. I don't know what all led you to this point in your life. But I do hope more than anything else in the whole world that no more waking horrors will find you.
It will take time, but this too will pass.
I wish I could say I feel your pain, but in all honesty, I hope I never do. Addiction is so hard to fight, especially drug addiction. I've witnessed too many people I love fall victim to it and live under the tight grasp it seems to have....I pray you don't take addiction's hand after this....
There's so much I want to say and I wish that I knew what to even say....
Just....we all love you and we're all so proud of you.
28 days. Wow. Well now, it's what? 30? I'm so proud of you. That is just so wonderful, we're all so proud of you. This song, yours and her words hole much more meaning than I was expecting. Oh Kristie, I don't know about all the hardships you've gone through, all your memories that haunt you, or your emotions that live inside your head and play with your heart.....I'm so sorry that you've had to experience any heartbreak or sadness. You're such a kind heart that it is so intensely unfair. I don't know what all led you to this point in your life. But I do hope more than anything else in the whole world that no more waking horrors will find you.
It will take time, but this too will pass.
I wish I could say I feel your pain, but in all honesty, I hope I never do. Addiction is so hard to fight, especially drug addiction. I've witnessed too many people I love fall victim to it and live under the tight grasp it seems to have....I pray you don't take addiction's hand after this....
There's so much I want to say and I wish that I knew what to even say....
Just....we all love you and we're all so proud of you.